No Place is Too Small for KC Quantum

Dear Chippy,

Don't you know that? I mean, one has to realize that cats have a special rule. People try to make rules for cats, of course... my humans try to make rules for me in here. Silly creatures, humans.

There is ONE (1) CAT RULE: Break any rules you come across.

When I was rummaging in the forbidden(so-called) library the other day, I ran into a paper with rules for Stray Cats (whatever that is...cats never call themselves "stray.) Here's what it said:

STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY
CATS

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray
cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.

3. Stray
cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little
milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish
scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this
house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be
petted, played with or picked up and cuddled
unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with,
picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8.
Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any
time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house
except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed
inside the house except on days ending in "y".

11. Stray cats
allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the
furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up
on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray
cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99
sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray
cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15.
Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the
three-piece,
high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty
litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the
hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head
room.

17. Stray cats will sleep
outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the
garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the
house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined
with an old blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special
Kitty-Komfort-Bed with
non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22.
Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats
will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24.
Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed
under the covers.

What do you make of all that?

If you think your place is "too small" for me to come to see you, try me. Where was it that you said your place was, anyway? I would like to come to dinner sometime, for sure.

With a delicious chutter, KC